Monday, January 29, 2007

Sexual Fantasies


http://iafrica.com
From the time we are very young fantasy is a very important part of everyones life. It is an opportunity to try things out in the privacy of our imagination, a form of rehearsal far away from prying ears and eyes. Nothing illustrates this better than sexual fantasy, which is considered to be a healthy, normal way of becoming sexually aroused and exploring our own sexuality. It is both fun and functional but for some very frightening.

The stigma attached to what some feel are dirty thoughts, ideas and feelings that they should not have if they are normal, causes fear and anxiety. Many feel ashamed at these thoughts. The guilt that they generate can often cause problems in a relationship especially where the fantasy is seen as a betrayal of a lover or partners trust.

Experts agree that this is not the way to handle our fantasies. We should enjoy them and explore with them and above all realize that the brain is the most important sexual organ in our body. It dictates the way we feel and is at the core of our emotions. It is actually the brain which turns us on or off and directs all our sexual urges.

The truth about many sexual fantasies is that given the chance to act on them, most people would run a mile. Sexual fantasies can take many forms and gives us a free rein to try out situations that we would never consider in real life. In fact fantasy is a form of pleasurable day dreaming that we can control; it is completely safe; does not hurt anyone and fantasising about something does not mean that we will actually do it. It certainly should not cause us to feel guilty or perverted. We need to accept fantasy and enjoy it as a part of our sexual being.

The sexual fantasies of men and women do differ, although both may use fantasy while masturbating or making love. Common sexual fantasies in men involve making love to a virgin, being part of a threesome, watching people have sex and being overpowered sexually by one or more women. Women often fantasise about making love to a complete stranger, taking part in-group sex, making love to another woman and being a sex slave to a celebrity. Of course there are many more and where there is some kind of personality disorder or dysfunction in a man or a woman, fantasies may become violent and bizarre and be a symptom of other underlying problems.

Fantasy is quite normal. It is your private domain. Enjoy your imagination and do not feel guilty.

http://iafrica.com

Why Do We Love Sex Toys?

Even the coolest intimate relations will be richer if you add some novelties and surprises in it. Nowadays there are a lot of sex shops almost in every city around the world, where you can find erotic accessories starting with sexy lingerie of different styles ending with dildos and vaginas.

They always can be ordered by post, moreover they aren't considered anymore to be a sexual pervert prerogative. Thousands of people buy and use them for the purpose of self-satisfaction or for the satisfaction during the coitus.

It's important that sex shops and catalogues do not offer their products anymore as the help for onanists. At the very beginning of sex toys appearance, in the middle of seventies, every direction for vibrator use contained the following information: It can help you to relax and to relieve the muscular stress. But in the pictures there was a woman that massaged shoulders, malleolus and even cheeks. Oh, God! Save us from the thought of its penetration into her vagina!!!

Masturbation is no longer a generally recognized vice. Self-stimulation is not only innocuous, but even useful. No one has problems with the head from onanism yet. Masturbation helps both women and men to get rid of stress and loneliness. Also it lets you learn much more about your own body and sexuality.

If you really know what you love during masturbation you can easily explain your partner what type of stimulation of genitals he should choose to satisfy you. The results of it: you derive pleasure from it, and he gains an experience and self-confidence as a subtle lover!

As you know sex can solve any problem between man and woman. So, diversify your sexual life using sex toys!!!

Best ideas for your perfect date

Probably the most superb for your unforgetable date sounds the idea about riding horses in the beach, across the water vawes in the view of sunset on the ocean...if you cant organize all those things keep the idea only about riding horses. Also could be suitable places near the forest or in some empty fields full of flowers.

Your partner will always be impressed by the oldest idea about organizing romantic dinner near the candle lights. It sounds very classical but believe me it is only up to you to make it special find out what he or she doesnt like about food and learn couple of recipes that you can make on your own. This realy wont cause you any problems because there are lots of information about cooking and serving table. If you are a guy make sure that she will come earlier and notice you cooking. It would be even more impressive than already served table.

Everyone likes going to the zoo and it would realy ensure you very romantic trip that you can always choose instead of simple going for a walk. All those animals and nature get people close together and eliminate stress. Such an interesting way of spending time together wont cost you a lot but such an evening will be memorable and pithy.

You would never delude yourself with inviting your date to a museum, ancient places of your town, castles, galeries or some cultural festivals. It even could help to know a lot about your partner, because such places oblige people to talk about peculiar things and shows his/her attitude to the world.


Finally, no matter where you go always use your imagination fly a kite, play hide and seek or paint fight, dance in the rain, draw one another or something.

by: Rugile Kiguolyte

Flirting Tips

Do you know HOW to flirt?


Do you know if you ARE flirting?

The following actions are considered to be REAL flirting indicators - check them out and see if you're sending (and receiving) the right message:


How to tell she likes you:

She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.

Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.

She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.

She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way...

Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions.

She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.

She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.

Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth...

She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.

She puts her fingernail between her teeth.

She laughs in unison with you.

She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you.

She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.

Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.

While talking to you, she rest an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.

In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.

While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.

Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.

She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.


Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you.


She rubs her wrists up and down


www.links2love.com

Friday, January 26, 2007

Things Women Hate About Men

Ego! We fail to understand why men can stop and ask for direction till it's 40 kms into the wrong direction?! Like, isn't it more sensible to just ask for directions, you save on time, petrol and energy?

Would it kill to remember? They remember the names of cricketers from Holland and the scores each player has made, but cannot for the life them remember birthdays, anniversaries and buying gifts. What kind selective memory is that?

Ogling: They love to ogle at women (read breasts), even when they are with their date. Like, how rude!

Double talk: They nod their heads during a talk about gender equality, and then insist on paying the bills during a date, because it is not manly enough to let the woman pay. Yeah, right! At least, not when someone could be watching.

Lazy men: Talking about gender equality and men supporting it, how about giving us a hand with household chores?

Possessive... ugh! They are extremely possessive. Whatever makes them so insecure as opposed to the manly image they like portray?

Hypocrisy: They love to hang out with cool babes, but when it comes to marriage they want a simple homely girl. Guys, looks like you have around two centuries of catching up to do. And... please hurry with it!

The basics of life: Life without booze, sex and cigarettes is just unthinkable. And, no, I haven't figured the order of importance.

The phallic symbol: They have a birth right over the Remote control. Seems it is more like a phallic symbol that they need to carry around at home, I guess.

Superman! Think of themselves to be exalted beings - a mechanic, technician, plumber and financial advisor all rolled into one. We might have liked that about you, if you didn't make such a big deal out of it!


women.indiatimes.com

Things Not to Say When You Are making love

.... Making Love (if you are a woman)
10) "There's a spider on the ceiling"
09) "The ceiling needs painting"
08) "Oh... Phil/ David/ Dylan" (when your partner's name is John/ Chris/ Michael)
07) "What are we doing after this?"
06) "My parents should be coming in any moment"
05) "Oops, I think we forgot to lock the front door"
04) "Wake me up when you're done"
03) "That's all?"
02) "Have you ever considered Viagra ?"
01) "Are you in?"


.... Making Love (if you are a man)
10) "Can we turn off the lights?"
09) "Have you ever heard of breasts implants?"
08) "Your underwear looks like my mum's"
07) "Am I your first?"
06) "Did you wash yourself before this?"
05) "I have to get back to work after this"
04) "These expired condoms sure save me some serious cash"
03) "Is it me or is it you?"
02) "One more time"
01) "Can I tie you up?"

www.truekisses.com

Do Bad Guys Get the Girl ?

by Ian McNeice
www.topdatingtips.com
If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy, Mr. Bad Boy, always gets the girl !! If we remember the bad guys at school and college with the best looking babes it appears that the movies could be right. The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys ? Everywhere we tend to see bad guys and nice girls, we see fools and meatheads with the girls of our fantasies. In the mall we see our flaxen haired goddesses with America's Most Wanted. Is it nature at work, is it us, what is going wrong? You see men are confused. Men like to refer to stereo types and work from them. We are told that we need to be a hero and a tough guy, but then we are told we need to be in touch with our sensitive sides and be a modern man holding the baby.

Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends mean, never calls, is rude and unhelpful and shows little respect appears to have a fan club developing. Life my friends is often unfair. Okay let us look at what is going on with this scenario.

Interest. Yes, interest. Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and are a law unto themselves. They do what they want. They go where they will and they answer to no one. They are interesting. Tow the line, do as you are told and you are dull. Mavericks are interesting, straight guys are not. Generally.

Bad Guys are a challenge, we all love a challenge. Women love a challenge just like guys. If something is a challenge the end results must surely be worthwhile? Of course and bad guys are a challenge. The girls who go after a bad guy want to keep them to themselves and will do a great deal to keep hold. The more you want them, the greater there is a chance they may walk away. Women love to feel good about themselves and getting their bad guy, at least for a while, satisfies that urge. This appeals to some people and the greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort to keep them. There may be a lesson there.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they are about and don' really care what others think. They are their own men and don't need others to prop them up. Some can become almost caricatures of themselves but that doesn't make them any less attractive. Bad guys don't have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos. Somewhat out of shape if Mr. Soprano doesn't mind me saying, but immensely attractive all the same.

What have we got if we combine these facets. Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality. That equals sexy. Is it any wonder therefore that such types of guys often get the gals. It doesn't mean to say that we like them and it doesn't mean to say that this is fair or a good thing. But it can be natures way.

I am not in any way suggesting that we should all be Mr. Bad Guy. No not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. What is attractive can be modified and added to our social arsenal of dating weaponry. It is first the way you perceive yourself that matters. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life then this will boost your attractiveness. You don't need to go round being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

The modern dating game is highly complex and courting rituals can be a minefield. Go back to basics and analyze within yourself what is it that you think partners like and how can you match of yourself to those qualities. Changing just a few small things could make the world of difference.

How to Kiss Her

But I digress. Now, back to the kissing stuff When you are alone with her on her porch/door, place your arm around her in a gentle, non-threatening way. If she does not cringe away from you or push your arm off her, you can proceed to the next step. Next lean your head against hers, appearing to rest it.
She should do the same. Then take your hand from hers, make a shape like you were going to pull the trigger on a gun. DON'T whatever you do, firm your hand, relax.

Let it flow. Place the tip of your index finger ( the tip = the joint farthest from you hand ) under her chin and lift her head to your mouth. Do all this in slow motion. She will remember it better if you do it slow. Don't rush it. Kiss as though you have all the time in the world. But don't prolong a kiss beyond its natural life.

If she pushes you away, she is just not ready. Do not push your luck and never ever push your way hoping to get "lucky". You can always end things is by giving her a nice big hug.

We (us Americans) seem to have become a nation of huggers (why not a nation of kisses like in France? They kiss for everything there. They kiss to say good morning, they kiss to say hello, life is so unfair.)

Article generously provided by adolescent-adulthood.com.com

10 Sexy Moves

http://women.indiatimes.com

How about filling not only your senses but your very soul with the scent of love?

With these ten 'sexiting' tips, you will have an experience you and your man will never forget.

1. Cuddle up on a snow-soft couch or a warm rug, and watch a film brimming with love and romance.

2. Forget the SMS. End your dependence on e-mail. Rediscover the lost art of writing a good old-fashioned love letter. Pour out your feelings on handmade paper with a thick calligraphic pen, tie a red ribbon in the corner, spray your favourite perfume on it, and tuck it in a place where he will find it first thing in the morning. And mind you, love letters are not just for young sweethearts even if (or rather, especially if!) you have been married 30 years, those syrupy words will melt him faster than butter.

3. Steal a few moments to pamper yourself. Take a warm bath, treat yourself to a head massage, relax with a book. When you feel refreshed and happy, you will naturally want to do more for the man in your life.

4. It is easy to feel a calm joy if you allow yourself to sit, simply sit, in companionable silence for a while. Under the stars, by the seashore, in a chapel and find a quiet spot, and, holding hands, take in the beautiful silence. Sharing your silences can sometimes be the most romantic thing on earth.
5. Pick out a favourite photograph of you and him together, then have it laminated into a bookmark.

6. Have matching lingerie. A present that's handed over in a brown paper bag isn't nearly as touching as one that's thoughtfully wrapped. Trust us on this. It doesn't have to be fancy; it just has to match.

7. Undress him. The longer you can prolong this, the more wonderful, agonising tension you'll build. If you can manage it without breaking the flow, proceeding to undress while he watches will make him putty in your hands.

8. Tell him how good it feels. Men thrive on praise, never more so than between the sheets. Not only will it make him feel like a million bucks, but it'll keep you both focused on what's working.

9. Let your hands wander. Subtle but devastating. Years from now, he'll remember the way your nails trailed along the small of his back.

10. Write him a sexy love letter telling him what you like best about your sexy relationship. Also, tell him what you love about his sexy moves.

http://women.indiatimes.com/

Sound Sexier in the Sack

By Laura Snyder

Whether your lover is miles away or just in the next room, you can still share a steamy night together by putting that saucy tongue of yours to a new use -- by mastering the fine art of aural sex.
Tune Into Tone

Dirty talk doesn't delight if you sound like Fran Drescher. Lower the pitch of your voice a little and speak softly. The idea is to imitate how increased testosterone levels and lower oxygen levels make your voice sound when you're aroused.

Set the Mood
Even phone-sex operators don't just launch into x-rated dialogue, so casually transition your usual chit-chat into pillow talk. A good way to start is to express your desire for him or her, or by evoking the memories of an especially passionate romp you've shared before.

Learn the Lingo
Can't think of a good euphemism without sounding like a bad romance novelist? Use indirect words for particular body parts. As you get more comfortable with carnal conversation, think of more direct nouns. They don't have to be the medically accurate, but oh-so unappealing anatomical names. Take your cue from popular slang, literature or porn.

Paint a Mental Image
Use your knowledge of your partner's particular turn-ons. Even if your sweetie is looking right at you, tell him or her what you're wearing (or not wearing), what partner looks like (focusing on your favorite body parts) and what you'd like to be doing to each other to paint a vivid fantasy.

Listen Up
Get your partner to confess his or her most carnal desires, too, by asking questions. Example: "Would you like to touch my...?" You'll not only learn about what's arousing your partner most, but you can also subtly direct the conversation to suit your desires, be they kinky or romantic. Be a good listener, but don't go mute. Keep the conversation humming with plenty of affirming "mmm-hmms" and satisfied sighs.

Keep it Simple
You're trying to speak to the heart and groin, not win a poetry prize. As things heat up - and the blood starts vacating your head for a more southern neighborhood - keep your prose simple and explicit

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

by Paul Volk
www.deida.com

Whether or not men and women can be friends is not as simple as the simple question makes it sound. Because there are different kinds of men and women.

Best-selling author and speaker David Deida describes a spectrum of sexual energy from the masculine on one side to the feminine on the other. Deida says that all men and women have access to the full spectrum of energy; that is, all of us could choose to animate more masculine energy, more feminine energy, or more balanced energy at any given time.

But we each also have a specific place on the spectrum--either more on the masculine side, more on the feminine side, or close to balanced--that is our unique sort of "resting place." It's the natural sexual energy that we are going to be expressing--and identifying with--most of the time. Deida calls this point on the spectrum our "sexual essence." Most men (around 80%) have a more masculine sexual essence, and most women (around 80%) have a more feminine sexual essence.

All of this is important in answering your question because the masculine in each of us has certain desires and values and the feminine has very different desires and values. A man with a masculine essence might have a friendly relationship with a woman who has a masculine sexual essence, but he would have a hard time having a stricly friendly relationship with a woman who has an extremely feminine essence.

Because these masculine and feminine energies drive the sexual attraction between us, and also because these differences between the extreme masculine and the extreme feminine are so profound--they want different things, communicate in completely different ways, see things completely differently, etc--it makes the kind of communication and sharing involved in a friendship type of relationship very difficult.

On the other hand, for men and women with balanced sexual essences, a friendship relationship is the most natural relationship for them. Because they are fairly balanced in their sexual energy (equally masculine and feminine) there is not the kind of mismatch and misunderstanding that constantly takes place between the extreme masculine and the extreme feminine. Men and women with balanced essences tend to have excellent communication with each other, but they also do not have the kind of sexual fireworks that characterizes men and women with more extreme sexual essences. People with truly balanced sexual essences just don't really care that much about sex.

It's important to realize that it's not better to have either a more extreme sexual essence or a more balanced sexual essence. Just like it's not better to have brown eyes or blue eyes. It's just different, but the differences do make a big difference in our lives and it's something that we should all be conscious of and take into account so that we won't be thrown into confusion by over-simplifications like: men and women should be able to be friends or men and women can never be friends.

Hidden secrets of tantric sex

www.fwbo.org

References
1.Thinley Norbu, The Small Golden Key, p.24
2. Stephan Beyer, The Buddhist Experience, p. 258
3. Herbert V. Guenther, The Life' and Teaching of Naropa, pp. 161-162
4. Ven. Sangharakshita, 'Masculinity' and 'Femininity' in the Spiritual Life, p.24

Is the Tantra a sex-obsessed corruption of Buddhism?

Padmavajra thinks not.

The last great phase in the historical development of Indian Buddhism was known as the Vajrayana (literally, 'The Thunderbolt Way) Its major contribution to Buddhism was a number of new and radical practices leading to Enlightenment.

The Vajrayana's aim was to bring the practitioner to Enlightenment as quickly as possible, and one of its central concerns was the liberalization and canalization of more and more of the practitioner's energy. Part of its way of effecting this was through sexual 4metaphor, sexual symbolism, and even through what have been called 'sexo-yogic' practices.

Because of its apparent use of sex as an aspect of spiritual practice, the Vajrayana has provoked two extreme responses in the West. In the early days of Buddhist studies, the Vajrayana was generally condemned as a corruption of the sublime ideals of Buddhism. More recent interest has tended to the other extreme. Some are attracted to the Vajrayana precisely because of its apparent sanctification of desire in general, and sexual desire in particular. In a recent exposition of the Vajrayana by a Tibetan teacher, we find the following, '...if desire for a woman arises, it must be relied upon...'. Such a presentation of the Vajrayana would seem to suggest that being a Buddhist does not involve changing ourselves. We can, apparently, keep hold of our desires as they will lead us to Enlightenment.

The truth behind the use of sexual themes in the Vajrayana is, as might be expected, far from either of the extremes mentioned. Though we are dealing with a vast and complex subject, it is possible to discern three distinct (though related) aspects of the place of sex in the Vajrayana. Firstly, there is the shock value of sexual language. For example, in the canonical texts of the Vajrayana - the Tantras - which flourished in India roughly between the 4th and 10th centuries CE, we can find sexual intercourse with the chaodali (outcaste girl) and prostitutes being recommended. At that time, contact - what to speak of sexual congress - with an outcaste, according to Hindu society (back to which Buddhism had to some extent been drawn), would have been deemed spiritually polluting. But, in making such recommendations, the Vajrayana was simply trying to shock people out of their mundane social conditioning. It was seeking to liberate the energy locked up in the convention and taboo of Hindu society.

Whether or not these recommendations were enacted is an open question. Stephan Beyer enthusiastically describes the followers of the Vajrayana thus: 'They sang of wisdom as the great Whore, for she opens herself to every man who seeks her, ...made love to the spontaneous maiden within them, and preached a world upside down, ... and were altogether quite outrageous and shocking to all good and sober citizens. It would be interesting to ponder how the Vajrayana would speak to our own age, where sexual license has become a kind of norm. If they wanted to shock people out of their conditioning today, the old followers of the Vajrayana might have to appear as rock bands singing about the ecstasies of celibacy!

In that passage quoted from Stephan Beyer, we read that the followers of the Vajrayana 'made love to the spontaneous maiden within them'. This brings us to the second aspect of sex in the Vajrayana, the so-called 'sexo-yogic' practices.

We have seen that the Tantras recommended sexual intercourse with the chaodali. Now, as well as aiming to decondition, this sort of recommendation would sometimes also have been referring to certain forms of yogic practice. Here, the word c~anda1i is not referring to a woman at all. In this context, chaodali can be translated as 'the fiery one' and, simply stated, refers to the vital energy that must be contacted and incorporated into our practice. It parallels the better known kundalini.

The practices associated with the arousal of the chaodali occur in the anuttara-yoga Tantra, the highest level of Vajrayana practice, and - traditionally - should be undertaken only after years of successful training in Hinayana, Mahayana, and lower Vajrayana disciplines. Indeed, in India and old Tibet, these practices would not have been known about, even in theory, by those not initiated into them. (This might be one of the reasons why these practices were 'hidden away in sexual language - to keep them out of the reach of those not ready to undertake them.) Sangharakshita has recalled that in his own contact with Tibetan monks, lamas, and lay people, there was no special interest shown in these teachings, and definitely no unhealthy emphasis.

There also seems to be some doubt as to whether the 'sexo-yogic' practices were intended to describe anything physical at all. Herbert Guenther, a writer normally very sure of himself, says in commenting on one of these practices: 'We move in a world which probably is neither physical nor mental, but may partake of both (or be something completely different). In some of the practices found in the Tantras and their related works we encounter elaborate visualization techniques where the practitioner is instructed to see himself as a Buddha in sexual union with a female consort, usually described as a dakini. Here the aspect of sexo-yogic practice merges with the third aspect, that of sexual symbolism.

Within the Mahayana, Enlightenment was principally seen as the insoluble union of wisdom and compassion. Mahayana artists were fond of depicting this union in paintings and images, in the form of the androgynous figure of the Bodhisattva - a beautiful sixteen-year-old: gentle, yet strong in appearance.

The Vajrayana sought to depict this union even more vividly, and so depicted the Buddha or Bodhisattva in sexual union with the dakini. We often come across such figures in Vajrayana art. The Buddha or Bodhisattva looks serene, contemplative, blissful; while the dakini - appearing like a goddess - embraces him tightly, and looks rapturously into his face. Here the male figure symbolizes Compassion, the female figure Wisdom. Sangharakshita has commented on such depictions thus: 'One must observe that though there are two figures there are not two persons: there is only one Enlightened person, one Enlightened mind, within which are united reason and emotion, wisdom and compassion.

These representations embody under the form of sexual symbolism (here of course one has nothing to do with sexuality in the ordinary sense) the ideal of Wisdom and Compassion united. 4 Traditionally, these images are considered highly sacred, inspiring profound reverence and devotion, not in any way stimulating a sexual response. However, they have suffered abuse.

Some people go so far as to recommend that. during sexual intercourse, the man should visualize himself as the Buddha: the woman should visualize herself as the dakini. Both should experience their lovemaking as an enactment of the uniting of Wisdom with Compassion. Such recommendations provide the deluded with a first class means of rationalizing away their mundane desires.

For most of us, such a practice would be a purely mental activity making no significant difference to the basic urges involved. It would be no more than a fancy way of having sex. For those experienced enough to see and feel themselves to be a Buddha at such times, it is highly unlikely that they would want to involve themselves with sex at all! Being so content, complete, and rich within themselves, they would hardly need to reach beyond themselves for their pleasures.

To conclude, within the Vajrayana, sex - as most of us understand and experience it - is not part of the path to Enlightenment at all. Sexual language within the Vajrayana is strictly metaphorical, strictly symbolic: not to be taken literally. Indeed, if taken literally, some Vajrayana writings will not lead us to Enlightenment, but will sink us more deeply in the mire of greed, hatred, and delusion.

References

1.Thinley Norbu, The Small Golden Key, p.24

2. Stephan Beyer, The Buddhist Experience, p. 258

3. Herbert V. Guenther, The Life' and Teaching of Naropa, pp. 161-162

G Spot

In an age where sexuality is researched and discussed everywhere in great detail, female ejaculation remains something of a mystery. Despite popping up occasionally in medical literature dating right back to Aristotle, it was only officially described and recognised by Western medicine in 1980. Even today, some doubt its existence.

Rest assured, female ejaculation is real, although it seems that not every woman is capable of achieving it, and the actual "ejaculate" varies from person to person. Some women only produce a few drops, others, more than a few tablespoons. When an ejaculating woman's G spot is stimulated (scroll down to learn more about the G Spot) to the point of orgasm, a milky, odourless, thin liquid shoots out of her urethra, sometimes in copious quantity and over relatively large distances - thus the name.

This liquid has been found to be very similar to male prostate liquid, and is secreted by the Skene's glands, which flank both sides of the urethra. The liquid is NOT urine. We know this because when a woman has an orgasm, the pubococcygeus muscle contracts, stopping any flow of urine that may want to occur. So it's normally not possible to urinate during orgasm.

Women who can ejaculate describe the feelings immediately beforehand as being similar to the desire to urinate. Apparently the secret to successful ejaculation is ignoring the urge to "close off in case of accidents" and, instead going with the flow. When ejaculation accompanies an orgasm, the sensation is said to be far more intense than a regular climax.

Doctors have not been able to give any explanation for female ejaculation, other than it being purely for pleasure. Research is still going on into what exactly happens during ejaculation.

The G Spot
The G Spot was named by John Perry and Beverley Whipple in their 1982 book The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality. They named the area after Dr Ernst Grafenberg, a German doctor who first described it in 1950 (although, as with most aspects of female sexuality, it had been "discovered" earlier and then ignored).

The G Spot is an area on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina about two inches from the entrance. This area, directly behind the clitoris and along the urethra, becomes enlarged when stimulated. It can be felt as a raised area on the vaginal wall.

Most sex manuals recommend manual stimulation of the G Spot via the insertion of a finger up to the second knuckle, and the movement of the finger back and forward in a "come hither" motion. As mentioned above, many women develop the urge to urinate when the G spot is stimulated. It's a good idea to empty the bladder before trying this. Short fingernails and good lubrication are also recommended.

Are Sexual Fantasies Good For Us?

"Sexual fantasizing is a natural, universal psychological phenomenon similar to dreaming," says Wendy Maltz M.S.W. coauthor with Suzie Boss of the newly released book, Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies (New World Library, 2001). "And, like with dreams, some sexual fantasies are fun and satisfying, while others may trouble us a lot." Maltz, a sexualhealth expert, encourages women and men to learn more about sexual fantasies.

"The more you know about sexual fantasies, the more options you have about what types of sexual fantasies you entertain," says Maltz. "Fantasies that improve self-esteem and intimacy with a partner are usually the most desirable."

The groundbreaking research behind Private Thoughts shows that women experience an amazing range of fantasies, involving everything from sensuous horseback rides to tantalizing chocolate eclairs to erotic encounters with sexy aliens who arrive via spaceship. And women use sexual fantasy in some very clever ways to make themselves feel sexier, reach orgasm, safely satisfy their curiosity, and even relax. "Fantasy is like lavendar bath salts," confided a woman in midlife, "a little something special I do just for myself to help me unwind."

One of the most poignant examples of the healing power of sexual fantasy is shared by a woman identified as Georgine in Private Thoughts. Recovering from a car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down, Georgine used fantasy to get back in touch with her sexual thoughts and feelings.

She gave her imagination free reign while lying in tanning beds. Under the lights, I'd feel warm all over. I'd kind of drift into these explicit fantasies. At first, they involved sensations that helped me relax. I remembered how it used to feel to lie in the warm sun and feel cool blades of grass against my bare skin. Gradually, I began to respond sexually. I would lubricate.

Then, I started creating the same feelings by imagining myself with a partner." When she would have a particularly vivid fantasy, Georgine said, "I literally felt the heat from my imaginary lover's body." Since she has embraced her fantasy life, she has been reminded of how much she enjoys sensual, sexual energy, and how much pleasure awaits within her own erotic imagination.

People who are confused about whether their sexual fantasies are good or bad for them will find answers in Private Thoughts. Maltz provides a list of nine questions a person can ask themselves to help evaluate whether, and to what extent, a particular fantasy may be causing problems:

Does the fantasy lead to risky or dangerous behavior?

Does the fantasy feel out of control or compulsive?

Is the content of the fantasy disturbing or repulsive?

Does the fantasy hinder recovery or personal growth?

Does the fantasy lower my self-esteem or block self-acceptance?

Does the fantasy distance me from my real-life partner?

Does the fantasy harm my intimate partner or anyone else?

Does the fantasy cause sexual problems?

Does the fantasy really belong to someone else?

Drawing on Maltz's extensive background in sexual healing, the book devotes a chapter to healing unwanted or troubling fantasies that may be the result of sexual abuse or unresolved psychological issues. Maltz also shares guidelines for exploring fantasies with an intimate partner in a way that will enhance, rather than harm, a relationship. The book concludes with a delightful chapter on creating favorite fantasies, and the reminder, As we know ourselves better, we become more free to celebrate our natural erotic rhythms with whatever thoughts quicken our pulses and please our hearts.

www.sexualhealth.com

Tantric Sex - A Different Perspective

Many of us were taught before we became disabled or in adolescence that sex entails excitement that grows more and more intense until it results in a climax. The goal is usually seen as orgasm and the release of pent-up sexual tension.

We learned about sex in a culture that treats it as sinful and unspeakable, yet uses a medical model to describe it. According to the medical model of sex and orgasm, a buildup of muscular tension leads to a peak, followed by a release--ejaculation for men and contractions of the muscles surrounding the vagina for women. Since what science can measure is primarily physical in nature, orgasm is seen basically seen as an autonomic reflex, a mere spasm of genital contractions.

The medical model doesnt work for all of us. When our disabilities are accompanied by loss of genital sensation, limited movement or inability to ejaculate or have genital contractions, we may feel like giving up. The sexual pleasure we learned about or once knew has become inaccessible.

Tantric sex--based on the esoteric teachings of several eastern religions--provides an alternative way to experience sexual pleasure and bring new meaning to a loving relationship. Tantric orgasm is counterintuitive to the medical model. In Tantra, excitement is just the beginning rather than the means to the end. Instead of rushing toward a climax, a Tantric practitioner slows down, remaining in the moment, and travels toward deep relaxation. In the medical model, sexual energy builds, then is lost. In Tantra, energy is not lost but gained. Instead of using a partner for ones own gratification, Tantric partners provide vital energy to each other.

Sex Transformed
Ray Stubbs, sexuality educator, author, massage therapist and a fairly recent quadriplegic, has spontaneous orgasms while meditating despite his injury and describes ecstatic experiences I can only hope to someday achieve. He has written several books, the latest being The Essential Tantra: A Modern Guide to Sacred Sexuality.

Stubbs' extraordinary experiences do not occur in a vacuum. They follow many years of conscious seeking and study with Tantric teachers and Native American shamans. He has also practiced and taught contemporary meditation in the form of massage that embraces sexual energy.

Gary Karp, a paraplegic and the author of Life On Wheels, also has an interest in Tantric sex. He says that after his injury, a book on Tantra prompted him to consider that "normal" orgasm might not all it's cracked up to be. He particularly liked the Tantric teaching that two "energetically appropriate" lovers have complimentary polarities. "Making love," says Karp, "is an act of fulfillment and bonding for each person on a deep, evolutionary and innate spiritual level."

Stubbs' connection is with the divine; Karp's is with the other. Both approaches are spiritual. In fact, Tantra is not about sex at all. It is about transcendence. Although the outcome of Tantric sex may be prolonged sexual pleasure, that is not the goal. Sex is a vehicle. Sex is transformed into love, love into meditation, to light, to knowledge of the divine, to ecstasy, to bliss. According to Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's Tantra, Spirituality and Sex --my first exposure to Tantra many years ago--once you know that bliss, you are grounded in reality. The reality is that in deep sexual orgasm, it is not sex that gives you bliss. Once again, sex is only the vehicle. Something else is generating the euphoria, the ecstasy. That something else, according to Rajneesh, can be divided into three elements--timelessness, egolessness and being natural. These are the components that produce ecstasy and bliss.

I know all of this might sound strange or simply corny, but bear with me. Even Tantric teachers say that practice and experience must precede belief. Transcendence comes through experience, not through ideology. My challenge to you is to begin to think of sexual pleasure and orgasm in a different way.

In the Moment
For a Tantric orgasm to occur, there is no need for a build up of sexual tension, for friction, for ejaculation or for muscular contractions. In fact, there is no need for sex at all once you have discovered that orgasm can be a deeply relaxing meditation, a state combining Rajneeshs three components of timelessness, egolessness and being natural. When you are timeless you are in the moment, not comparing to past experience or focusing on future expectations. When you are egoless, you become one with your partner or the universe, not an individual limited by physical disability or negative thoughts. When you are in your natural state, in the words of Rajneesh, "The unreal is lost; the facade, the face, is lost; the society, the culture, the civilization is lost. You are part of nature--as trees are, animals are, stars are. You are in a greater something--the cosmos."

Still seem far-fetched? Well consider this. Drs. Beverly Whipple, Gina Ogden and Barry Komisaruk have shown in laboratory studies at Rutgers University that woman can have orgasms through fantasy alone, without any physical stimulation. Some of the women's orgasms were not associated with genital contractions. Still skeptical? Think this only applies to nondisabled women? My recent research with men and women with spinal cord injuries documents experiences that were identified as orgasm by the participants but could hardly be described as medical-model orgasms. While some participants still experienced traditional orgasms, others--of both sexes--said their orgasms happened "by surprise." There was not the usual buildup of muscular tension, yet ecstatic feelings occurred in their heads or entire bodies, even for those with no sensation below their level of injury. Is your mind beginning to open to new possibilities?

Getting Started
Stubbs writes in his book The Essential Tantra that Tantra is basically a teaching of acceptance and nonattachment. When we grasp for something, we are attached. There's no freedom. When we avoid something, we are attached. There's no freedom. It is through the acceptance of all as it is that we become free. Acceptance is neither submission nor giving up. Here, acceptance means nonattachment. What does that mean for us? It means accepting ourselves as we are and letting go of preconceived notions of sex and orgasm. It means becoming aware of the feelings and sensations that we do have, subtle as they may seem at first. In total acceptance, in nonattachment, there is transformation.

Stubbs warns us not to get caught up in the mainstream medias sensationalization of Tantra that has packaged it as a royal road to sexual pleasure. The essence of Tantra is not having sex in a particular position or prolonging intercourse. The real thing, says Rajneesh, is the ability to relax, to let go, to transform the physical into a meditative experience. It is attentiveness to sensations, mindfulness, being in the present. Stubbs notes that when we can transform energy at will, we are liberated.

For me, a casual student, Tantra is a way of tapping into my subtle energy body that I had been aware of but unable to express. It has provided another way for my wife, Cheryl, and I to stay sexually and spiritually connected in those times between what many would refer to as ordinary sex.

Mastering Tantra takes many years of study and practice. All of us, however, can begin to reap benefits of this sacred perspective by practicing a few simple exercises that can be incorporated into our everyday lives.
* Raise your awareness that you are a conscious being. If you are accustomed to wearing a watch on your left wrist, wear it on your right. Every time you go to check the time on your left wrist instead of the right, say "I am a conscious being."
* Focus on your breathing. Most of us are shallow breathers. Deep relaxation begins with deeper breathing. Whenever you pass through a door, check your breathing. Take a good deep breath if you can, hold it and exhale fully. At a later time you can learn to harmonize these three stages of breathing.
* To get a better sense of your energy body, focus on the palm of your right hand. Notice the sensations. Then focus on the palm of your left hand. Switch the focus back and forth. Then slowly move your hands together until they almost touch. Pay close attention to the changes and what you feel between your palms. If you don't have sensation in your hands than focus on one ear, then the other. Then move or have someone else move your palm within an inch or so of your ear. You will see that your energy body extends beyond your physical body.
* To enhance your awareness of expanding sensations, slow down when youre eating. Truly taste the food and drink. Notice the texture and temperature. Keep track of the sensations as the food travels down your esophagus. I do this with orange juice first thing in the morning.

Practice is essential as we relearn ways to experience the full energy of our bodies. According to Stubbs, sensuality, sexuality and spirituality begin with ourselves. They are all within us.

Barriers to these experiences during sex include concentrating too much on performance and not enough on sensations, judging others, making comparisons with the past to invalidate the present, and focusing on expectations instead of the richness available in the moment.

To overcome these barriers, let go of expectations. If you are the receiver, let go of attachments to outcomes. If you are the giver, let go of performance expectations. Allowing, rather than striving, is the key to acknowledging that we are not bound by the medical model of orgasm.

Resources:
Ecstasy through Tantra, by J. Mumford, Llewellyn Publications, St. Paul, 1987
The Essential Tantra: A Modern Guide to Sacred Sexuality, by Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Tarcher/Putnam, New York, 2000
Tantra Spirituality and Sex, by B.S. Rajneesh, Rajneesh Foundation, Rajneeshpuram, 1983
Tantra: The Yoga of Sex, by O.V. Garrison, Julian Press, New York, 1964
www.sexualhealth.com

All about geishas

I believe there is no person in a civilized world who would not know the term – Geisha. However, what exactly is Geisha? A very wide opinion in the world is that Geisha are just simple prostitutes in Japan, and as the first thing I would like to clearly state that, they most certainly are not.

This opinion originated after World War 2, and was brought to United States by its soldiers. Service men came back with wild and juicy stories about the girls called “gee-sha”. Those women were not Geisha, they were just a regular red light district prostitutes who dressed up like Geisha to attract costumers, nothing more.

History
To be honest Geishas do originated in red light districts of Kyoto region, but not as prostitutes. The Odoroki or “dancing girls” were very popular in these areas for entertainment, though as some of the girls grew older it became inappropriate to take this name and so they called themselves Geisha. As everything in Japan, this caste became strongly ritualized. Geishas are sometimes mistaken with Tayuu, who were the highest rank of courtesans (in simpler words prostitutes) in pleasure quarters. Lords ruling at that time ensured that the courtesans would not be able to wear the same clothes as Geisha, as well as the Geisha could not engage in prostitution. Geishas were not aloud to compete with Tayuu for the costumers they were just working together with them helping with dances and music. This gave a beginning to the simplistic kimono and simple hairstyles of the Geisha: the point was understated elegance rather than extravagance of courtesans.

Geisha and Maiko
Let us come back to the question - who are Geisha? The word itself translates from Japanese as “art person” or “artist”. They are the professional entertainers who work in traditional Japanese teahouses called Ochaya. Geishas entertain teahouse costumers by performing various arts like singing, dancing, playing instruments and tea ceremonies. They are called “Geiko” in Kyoto region.

Maiko translates as “dancing child” but sometimes is referred as “dancing girl” as well. They are apprentice Geisha. They have to undergo a lengthy training in all the arts a real Geisha has to master like music, dancing, playing traditional instruments and singing. The training usually takes around 5 years and after that, they become Geisha. Nowadays a girl can become Maiko at the age of 16. Though not attending conventional school after becoming Maiko, they must nonetheless attend classes every morning in dance, Shamisen, singing and other "gei". Maiko as well as learning artistic pursuits must learn the social graces and old style Kyoto dialect before becoming a Geisha.

Geisha in nowadays society
The number of geisha has been declining for two main reasons. First, one is the training, which is long and hard. Second, the variance in levels of Geisha, as far as cost, has all but disappeared. Geisha have become an elite group and have therefore become very expensive. Fewer men are willing to pay the high cost of a Geisha when other entertainers (i.e. hostess) are available.

Keeping Your Youth

So, how old you actually are? How many times have you noticed that your school friends, college friends etc. look differently? While one of them looks 25, the other still unsuccessfully tries to prove she‘s not fifty. And you know that they‘re of the same age... This is where „biological (or true) age“comes to the stage. Biological age shows how worn out your body actually is, not that tiny number in your passport.

According to Professor Michael Roysen, day-to-day lifestyle plays a significant role on the mechanism of human aging. If your friend looks like she‘s 20 when she‘s actually 40, it means that she‘s pursuing a healthy lifestyle. Don‘t get upset though, as nothing is impossible: you may start fighting your aging right now, and all you have to do is take a specialist‘s piece of advice. So, here it is:

· Regular consumption of tomatoes (tomato sauces, roasted tomatoes) subtracts 1.9 from the current age of men and 0.8 years from the age of women, making them look more youthful.

· Daily consumption of aspirin pills subtracts 2.2 years.

· Regular (daily) quality sex with the same partner subtracts 2-8 years.

· Daily 30-minute walks in fresh air subtract 1.6 years.

· Exercising for 30 minutes per week subtracts 1.6 years.

· Daily doses of chocolate are very useful and prolong your life up to 1.3 years.

· Daily consumption of 5 different fruits adds 1.4 years.

· Daily consumption of one ounce of any nuts adds up to 3 years to your life.

· Consumption of boiled or steamed fish helps you prolong your life up to 3 years.

· Consumption of balanced food supplements subtracts up to 3.3 years from your „apparent“age.

· Laughing prolongs your life significantly, from 1.7 up to 8years.

· Folic acid in the form of multivitamins or separately in food adds up to 1.2 years to your life.

· Calcium and calcium rich food – it’s another 0.5 years.

· Taking vitamins every day – adds yet another 0.4 years.

· Taking care of your mouth and teeth and visiting the dentist each 6 months – 6.4 years.

· Breakfast every morning adds 1.1 year.

· Washing your hands – 0.4 years.

· Good night sleep – 7 hours for women, 8 hours for men, adds astronomical 3 to 12 years to your estimate lifetime.

· Stressful situations are extremely harmful. Only three catastrophically in your life might shorten your life up to 32 years.

· Keep your weight leveled (perfect weight for women is the weight they had when they were 18, for men 21) – 6 years.

· Using alcohol in small amounts (of course if you don’t have an addiction to it) prolongs your life by 1.9 years.

Doctor Michael Roysen recommends to start to slow your biological clock right away by choosing at least 5 of the suggestions from above.

Don’t know where to start? Try to start with simplest things: breakfast, everyday long walks, tomatoes, good sleep and sex. Let’s talk about sex separately. Average American has sex only 58 times a year (!). It is less than 2 months a year. Doctor Michael Roysen states that if this number would increase to 116, the life would be prolonged approximately by 1.6 years. If you would have sex every day, the chances are that you would live 12 more years.

Good habits will help you to fight the process of aging effectively; the only thing you have to do is make a little effort.

Is "natural" really natural?

Times are changing, but everyone still wants to be beautiful. Every woman wants to look young and striking. Men just like women are also taking care of themselves. That’s why everyone is buying cosmetics. All of us are using more or less make-up and body care products.

So, it’s the right time to have discussion about natural cosmetics. Word “cosmetics” includes skin, hair, nails and teeth care products. Nowadays cosmetics industry is using term “natural”, but is this “natural” really natural, safe and useful for us?

Let’s make one simple experiment. Take some of your cosmetics which are called “natural” and read place where ingredients are declared. Most likely you will find a lot of interesting and mysterious chemical words. How can it be so if product is natural?

This aspect shows that word “natural” not always means truly natural and is only nice advertisement for manufacturing company. In fact they also include a multitude of synthetic ingredients. We must always check our cosmetic products if they don’t contain any of carcinogens,cancer-causing agents,toxins, irritants, contaminants or potentially harmful ingredients.

In our daily life there are tens of thousands of synthetic chemicals. Here is list of some mostly used ingredient:

1,4-dioxane
2-bromo-2-nitropropane-1,3-diol (Bronopol)
Alcohol, Isopropyl (SD-40)
Ammonium Laureth Sulfate (ALES)
Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate (ALS)
Anionic Surfactants
Benzalkonium Chloride
Butylated Hydroxyanisole (BHA)
Butylated Hydroxytoluene (BHT)
Cationic surfactants
Cetalkonium chloride
Cetrimonium chloride
Chloromethylisothiazolinone
Isothiazolinone
Cocoamidopropyl Betaine
Cocoyl Sarcosine
Cyclomethicone
DEA (diethanolamine), MEA (Monoethanolamine), & TEA (triethanolamine)
Diazolidinyl urea
Dimethicone
Dimethicone Copolyol
Disodium Dioctyl Sulfosuccinate
Disodium Laureth Sulfosuccinate
Disodium Oleamide Sulfosuccinate
DMDM Hydantoin
Ethoxylated surfactants
FD&C Colour Pigments
Formaldehyde
Fragrance
Hydrolysed Animal Protein
Imidazolidinyl urea
Imidazolidinyl Urea
Isopropyl Palmitate
Lanolin
Lauryl dimonium hydrolysed collagen
Lauryl or Cocoyl Sarcosine
Lauryl Sarcosine
Liquidum Paraffinum
MEA compounds
Methylisothiazolinone and Methylchloroisothiazolinone
Mineral Oil
Nitrosating Agents
Paraben preservatives (methyl, propyl, butyl, and ethyl)
Paraffin wax/oil
Phthalates
Polyethylene Glycol (PEG) compounds
Potassium Coco Hydrolysed Collagen
Propylene/Butylene Glycol
PVP/VA Copolymer
Quaternium-7, 15, 31, 60, etc
Rancid Natural Emollients
Silicone derived emollients
Sodium Cocoyl Sarcosinate
Sodium Hydroxide
Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES) Ammonium Laureth Sulfate (ALES)
Sodium Lauroyl Sarcosinate
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate (ALS)
Sodium Methyl Cocoyl Taurate
Stearalkonium Chloride
Talc
TEA (Triethanolamine) Laureth Sulfate
TEA compounds
Toluene

We are living in a very polluted atmosphere and yet we are still empoisoning our bodies with cosmetics. As we all know our body absorbs what we put on our skin. If you really care about your health, make a little research on your cosmetics products in website www.hazard.com/msds. There you will find the true nature of your “natural” cosmetics product.

There are some ways of recognizing if cosmetics are really natural. First thing what you can do before buying a product is reading ingredients list on cover and checking amount of chemical ingredients. If the list is somewhat long it’s up to you to decide whether to buy it or try and find something not so synthetic.

Some companies are trying to tell you that they don’t test their products on animals, thus their products are natural. But be careful! It can be just a smart disguise. Perhaps they didn’t make any direct tests with animals, but you should be aware, that all synthetic chemicals (which are used as ingredients) were most likely tested on animals. And some more food for thought – about 50% of them have died…

One more tip how to recognize natural product is expiration date. Natural products without chemical ingredients have shorter expiration time, lasting about 6 months. Natural products usually must be stored in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight.

If you want to buy really natural cosmetics, check products characteristics which show real nature of product: plant-derived ingredients; no alcohol; no artificial dyes; no thickeners; not animal tested; no petroleum products; no cheap filler ingredients; no synthetic fragrances.

Natural cosmetic are using essential and fragrance oils, oils from fruits and nuts, aloe vera and tea tree oil, extracts and juice, seed oils, seafood, amino acids, phospholipids.

Materials are natural and no chemical processing is used on them. Since cold purification process is used, materials avoid any thermal processing thus keeping all valuable characteristics.

Visit page http://www.safecosmetics.org/companies/signers.cfm ant there you will find the signers of the compact for global production of safe health & beauty products.

Choose a colour according to Feng Shui

Feng Shui principles can help you to choose the right colour to create harmony in your life. Colours classification according to Feng Shui is based on what particular colour represents. Five elements - water, earth, wood, fire and metal can be illustrated by different colour groups and tones. It is very useful to know decorating your living or working place, because adding some of the colours in each space you sort of add particular element.

The element of water according to Feng Shui stand for blue and black colours with all their shades. Blue is also considered as healing colour, it associated with the bladder and kidneys when these organs lacks the energy arises anxiety and fear. Blue is the colour of beauty, but cold. You should avoid this colour in your bedroom if you want to create warm and passionate atmosphere.

The element of wood is repreented by all shades and tones of green colour. Green symbolizes living things so it adds the energy and harmony to your house. It is also very sensual and sexy colour with the meaning of satisfaction and abundance of the Earth.

The element of earth is illustrated by the colours of brown, orange and yellow. Yellow is very suitable in office or working places because it promotes acquired knowledge and seriousness.

All shades of red and pink colour represents the element of fire. Red is considered as primordial colour and very significant to human senses. It activates body with the energy, stimulates appetite and aggressiveness.

The last element - metal is represented by white, grey, silver and gold colours. Gold and silver in Feng Shui science represents the flow of two main energies Yin and Yang. White colour doesnt bring any of emotions, it is a symbol of clearness and purity.

This knowledge will help you to create beneficial space around and fulfill your needs.

by Rugile Kiguolyte

Beautiful You

By Anna Soref


A touch of color to the cheeks, a little lipstick, maybe some eye shadow and mascara -- makeup seems harmless enough. But check out the labels on department store cosmetics, and you'll see a list of tongue-twisting chemicals that could be hazardous to your health. But don't despair -- makeup doesn't have to become yet another item added to your "don't" list. Many natural cosmetics now rival department store offerings in quality -- and they're toxic-free.

Makeup's Ugly Side
As surprising as it may sound, the majority of cosmetic ingredients are not tested for safety, according to a study released by the nonprofit Environmental Working Group. Because the government does not monitor cosmetic companies, questionable ingredients creep into most makeup products.

Although most cosmetics ingredients appear safe for use in the short term, long-term use could be deadly, says Kim Erickson, author of Drop-Dead Gorgeous (Contemporary Books, 2002). "Some cosmetic chemicals accumulate in the body's fatty tissues, where they can remain for years and damage your cells," she says. As an example, a study reported in the January 2004 edition of the Journal of Applied Toxicology found parabens, the most common cosmetic preservative, present in significant amounts in 18 out of 20 breast cancer tumors.

The number of chemicals in a simple lipstick is astounding. In addition to phthalates (which can cause kidney and liver damage and harm a developing fetus), lipstick may contain the possible human carcinogens butylated hydroxytoluene, polyethylene, dimethicone and a slew of artificial colors derived from coal tar. And if you wear lipstick every day, you'll ingest at least 4 pounds of it over your lifetime.

Pretty and Chemical-Free
OK, so you're ready to try natural makeup. Fortunately, you're no longer stuck with blue eye shadow and orange foundation. Natural products manufacturers are turning out new cosmetics to meet a savvy shopper's needs. "The offerings are a lot better, and there are a lot more shades for a lot more skin tones. You're seeing stuff you would see at the MAC or Estee Lauder counters," says Patrick McRae, marketing associate for Zia Natural Skincare.


Shoppers will see breakthrough technology in natural makeup that rivals the big brands. For example, the foundations from Borlind of Germany are made with tiny lecithin liposomes (pouches) that melt over time, so the foundation maintains a dewy look. "Some natural foundations tended to look gritty over time," says Linda Upton, Borlind's vice president of education and training. "This technology has changed that."

Some companies are also taking cues from brands such as L'Oreal and changing their color schemes with seasonal fashion changes. Borlind now offers more than 20 eye shadow shades and 16 lipstick tints. And to stay on the cutting edge, Borlind has its classic mainstay colors but also fashion hues that change with the times.

The Safe Side
Of course the best part about natural makeup is that it's safe. Most natural makeup bases use products such as jojoba oil and candelilla wax instead of petrochemicals such as mineral oil (a gasoline production by-product), says Upton. And colors are derived from naturally occurring earth pigments in lieu of artificial colors.


Some manufacturers are finding new ways to avoid using synthetic preservatives such as parabens. At Logona USA, the makeup packaging is designed so that fingers don't make contact with the product -- possibly introducing bacteria, says Michael Wrightson, president of Logona USA. And the products are preserved with essential oils, tocopherols -- even salt.

An added bonus with natural cosmetics is that many work double duty, McRae says. Companies are adding ingredients such as aloe, cucumber, green tea and ginkgo so the product "works as a makeup but also soothes and is an anti-inflammatory and an antioxidant," he says.

So the next time you need some new lip gloss or eye shadow, forget the department store and head to the natural products store -- you may be surprised with what you find and with how you look wearing makeup that's good for you.


www.betternutrition.com

The Natural Products

Natural-based personal care products have become more popular in recent years as marketers and consumers discover the benefits of natural ingredients such as vitamins, herbs and materials derived from the sea. At the same time, however, as natural products gain widespread acceptance, a true definition for the term natural becomes more obscure.

The word natural is easily twisted, noted Warren Raysor, president and founder of Abra Therapeutics, Forrestville, CA. The meaning depends on who is trying to define natural. Is petroleum natural? Are all things that exist in the world natural? It depends on who is defining it.

Natural ingredients are seasonal with limited quantities. Smaller companies relying solely on natural ingredients must target smaller audiences. And larger companies often use the word natural as a marketing tool, but their products are 99% synthetic, according to Mr. Raysor.

Of course, there are benefits to using synthetic materials. For example, synthetics are uniform from batch to batch. With natural ingredients, each batch is unique, taking more time to perfect the outcome. And despite recent reports, the safety of synthetics versus natural ingredients is not a black and white issue, said Mr. Raysor. He noted that the company uses Parsol 1789, a synthetic sunscreen, in several products.

There are a lot of natural things you dont want to get next to, such as poison ivy, while many preservatives are not harmful. But natural often suggests nutritional, Mr. Raysor said.

Using natural ingredients is also beneficial because customers are often more familiar with herbal names than other naturally-derived ingredients.

Vitamin fractions are generally so difficult to pronounce, customers dont understand their value, said Mr. Raysor. Herbals, on the other hand, are easier to understand and read.

Abra has had long associations with herbal formulators, organic farmers and producers. The newest Abra product is Adaptagen Phytoserum which contains green tea, sage leaf, Siberian ginseng, schizandra berry and grape seed to protect environmentally threatened skin. Green tea, a natural photo-resistant and anti-carcinogenic leaf, has been used for thousands of years in eastern tea ceremonies.


www.happi.com

Skin Care for Men

Have you ever seen a couple together and thought, "He must be taking his mom out to lunch"-only to find that the couple is married?It's a fact: men's and women's skin age differently. Testosterone causes men to have thicker skin, which means that it tends to sag and wrinkle less and is a more effective barrier against environmental irritants and bacteria. Not only do women have thinner skin, but their oil glands produce slightly less oil than men's, which means they have less "natural" moisturizer.

Men usually shave their faces, which exfoliates the dead cells and lessens the appearance of wrinkles. On the down side, for many men shaving is an abrasive experience and can account for the roughening of the skin along the jaw line and cheeks.

Regardless of the inherent advantages that men have when it comes to their skin, a daily skin care regime can work wonders to maintain a vigorous, youthful appearance (that testosterone doesn't last forever, guys). Skin care for men is remarkably similar to that for women. You will want to clean your skin every day, apply toner and moisturize your skin. And always use sun block, at least SPF 15.


Protect Your Skin
Sun is damaging to the appearance and health of your skin, and even those of you who spend a total of five minutes in the sun per day-getting in and out of your car, for instance-will want to heed the following tips. Always use an SPF 15 sunscreen and apply it everywhere the sun's rays might touch you: ears, the back of your neck, and bald areas of your scalp. If you're sweating or swimming, apply it at least once an hour. Wear tightly-woven clothing to prevent the sun from penetrating the fabric and getting to your skin.

Sunburns
If that week-long beach volleyball tournament has left you with sun-reddened, throbbing, blistered skin, there are a few things you can do to lessen your discomfort. Apply aloe vera to burned areas to moisturize and promote healing; chamomile steeped in water can help to relieve the sting; calamine lotion will lessen the itching; cool compresses, baths, and showers will sooth your skin, and adding vinegar or cooked oatmeal to your bath water will reduce the sting. Starchy, liquefied raw potatoes applied directly to the sunburned areas will also lessen the pain, but make sure that you wait until the mixture dries completely before you rinse it off to reap the full benefits.

Acne
Acne is a problem for many men. Thick skin and active oil glands can cause everything from the occasional blemish to full-blown acne. Men's acne treatment is similar to women's, but the products tend to be a little more concentrated. Our Baking Soda Scrub recipe (below) is non-irritating and will sooth and gently exfoliate your skin. For other tips and recipes to treat acne, go to Acne Prone Skin Care.

Baking Soda Scrub
Wet your face with warm water. Apply 1 tbsp. baking soda to dampened skin, massaging gently but thoroughly all over the face (including behind the ears). Rinse carefully removing all the baking soda, and repeat the process. Dry your face, apply toner and sun block.

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New Beauty Tips

Author: Donna Toma


Brighten up. For sallow looking skin, give yourself an instant pick me up with Ultima II Glowtion Skin Brightening Moisturizer. This moisturizer adds just a hint of color that makes skin look brighter and even toned upon application! It also contains Spf15 for protection from the sun. This is a perfect way to keep it light for summer months when foundation may seem a bit much on the skin.

Travel Light. For summer's lightweight looks, you don't want to be weighed down by carrying a ton of cosmetics with you for your look. The perfect solution: Bring along just one item- Loreal QuickStick Face and Body Blush in Iced Plum is the ideal shimmer shade for cheeks, over lips, on brow bones, and anywhere else you wish to apply it- try on shoulders with summer's sundresses...

Juice Bar Freebie. Check out your nearest health and beauty aid store now for Juice Bar Scents from Parfums de Coeur- look for specially marked packaging that includes their jumbo new moisturizing lip balm. Try the yummy Cotton Candy lipbalm that is included with the Cotton Candy Juice Bar scent. It will bring you back to memories of a childhood treat, totally guilt-free, no calories!
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Herbal Beauty Recipe

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Facial masks are beneficial for removing dead skin, unclogging pores and helping prevent premature lines and wrinkles. Applying a facial mask once a week can dramatically improve your skin's overall health.
If you're interested in making your own facial mask with ingredients you can find in your refrigerator, check out the two facial mask recipes below. These masks will your skin feeling soft and smooth and looking great!

Cucumber Avocado Facial Mask
cup chopped cucumber
cup chopped avocado
1 egg white
2 tsp. powdered milk
In a blender combine all of the ingredients until they form a smooth, paste-like consistency. You can apply the mask immediately or refrigerate it for 30 minutes.

Apply 2 tablespoons of the cucumber avocado mask to your face and neck in circular upward motions. Leave the mask on for 30 minutes, or until dry. To remove the mask simply rinse your face and neck with warm water, followed by a cold water rinse. Finally, pat dry your face and neck.

Lemon Egg-White Mask

Juice from half a lemon, strained
1 egg white
Beat together the egg white and lemon juice for three full minutes. Apply directly to your face, avoiding your eyes, and leave on for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes rinse your face with warm water and apply a moisturizer or cream.

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Homemade Honey Beauty Recipes

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Hair Shine

Stir 1 teaspoon honey into 4 cups (1 quart) warm water. Blondes may wish to add a squeeze of lemon. After shampooing, pour mixture through hair. Do not rinse out. Dry as normal.

Facial Toner

In blender, puree 1 Tablespoon honey with a peeled, cored apple. Smooth over face; leave on 15 minutes. Rinse with cool water.

Moisture Mask

Mix 2 Tablespoons honey with 2 teaspoons milk. Smooth over face and throat. Leave on 10 minutes. Rinse off with warm water.

Smoothing Skin Lotion

Mix 1 teaspoon honey with 1 teaspoon vegetable oil and 1/4 teaspoon lemon juice. Rub into hands, elbows, heels and anywhere that feels dry. Leave on 10 minutes. Rinse off with water.

Skin Softening Bath

Add 1/4 cup honey to bath water for a fragrant, silky bath.

Hair Conditioner

Mix 1/2 cup honey and 1/4 cup olive oil. (Use 2 Tablespoons oil for normal hair.) Work a small amount at a time through hair until coated. Cover hair with a shower cap; leave on 30 minutes. Remove shower cap; shampoo well and rinse. Dry as normal.

Honey Cleansing Scrub

Mix 1 Tablespoon of honey with 2 Tablespoons finely ground almonds and 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice. Rub gently onto face. Rinse off with warm water.

Firming Face Mask

Whisk together 1 Tablespoon honey, 1 egg white, 1 teaspoon glycerin (available at drug and beauty stores) and enough flour to form a paste (approximately 1/4 cup). Smooth over face and throat. Leave on 10 minutes. Rinse off with warm water.

Homemade Beauty Recipes 2

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Do you want to look stunning with out wasting too much money? If your answer is yes, then you should read this tips. They have past on from generations to generations. The best part of it, is that you may already have the ingredients at home!

Get rid of blemishes
Apply toothpaste to the required area, Leave on overnight.

Dried or chapped skin
Apply petroleum jelly (vaseline) affected area.

Hot oil treatment
Heat any vegetable oil (do not over heat). Apply to hair cover with shower cap and leave on for 10-20 minutes.

Falling hair
Pour cinnamon in to 12 or more ounces of water, let it boil for 5-10 minutes. After it cools down, apply to hair scalp for 10 -15 minutes. Then shampoo and rinse as usual.

Blackheads
Mix oatmeal and honey, apply to skin. Massage skin for 5-7 minutes then rinse off with warm water.


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Homemade Beauty Recipes 1

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Honey Mask Recipe
The best facial mask is honey. Place a cloth in warm water and apply to your face to open the pores. Smear on honey, and leave on for 15 to 30 minutes. Rinse off with warm water, then use cold water to close the pores. Use once a week.

Miracle Whip Exfoliator
"Yes, I am talking about the same Miracle Whip your Aunt Mable uses in her macaroni salad. Apparently, women all over the US are using this salad dressing ingredient on their faces to remove dead flaky skin.

I have not tried it myself, but supposedly, KRAFT MIRACLE WHIP Exfoliating Facial makes an amazing treatment for normalizing over-oily skin.
Here is how you apply this "miracle cream":

Make sure all your hair is pulled back from your face. Apply a thin layer of the KMW all over your face, up to the eyelashes and make sure to also put some on your neck. The "fumes" from the vinegar may bother you so walk around the house to try to escape them. LOL!

Leave on for 10 minutes, then massage gently. The dead skin cells on your face will roll off in rubbery little balls. Rinse your skin with tepid water, then cleanse as usual following your regular beauty regime. If you apply the KMW every day, in 6-8 weeks your skin should be completely renewed.

I cannot help but wonder if this Miracle Whip eats away at the dead skin cells on your face, what does it do to the inside of the body when someone eats it?? Pretty scary!!! One person believes that the vinegar in the Miracle Whip is what causes the exfoliation and rejuvenation. If that is true, why not try a mixture of organic apple cider vinegar with some olive oil, apply that and see what happens? One could whip together the olive oil and apple cider vinegar, apply it to their face and then use the leftovers on their salad!

I think I will start experimenting with some ingredients and try to come up with a facial recipe to rival the KRAFT MIRACLE WHIP!"

Special Note from, Lucie:
"After reading Victoria's email about the Miracle Whip beauty trick (the above is an excerpt from that email), I bought a small jar of Miracle Whip. I applied a slighter thicker layer than was recommended, and the vinegar smell was quite strong.

After a minute or two the Miracle Whip 'melted' and that left my face very shiny and oily looking. After 10 min., I washed the Whip away and I couldn't believe the results. All the flaky dry skin was gone and my skin felt tight and smooth. Very strange, indeed!"

Remove Hair Build-up Recipe
1/4 cup vinegar
1 cup water
After conditioning the hair use this as a final rinse. Leaves your hair soft and shiny.

Hair Egg Conditioner Recipe
1 teaspoon baby oil
1 egg yolk
1 cup water
Beat the egg yolk until its frothy, add the oil then beat again. Add to the water. Massage into the scalp and throughout your hair. Rinse well.

Hair Conditioner One Recipe
Combine mashed avocado with some coconut milk. Comb it through the hair and let sit for 10 -15 minutes, rinse out.

Shampoo Recipe
In a blender, combine 1 ounce olive oil, 1 egg, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, and 1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar. Use as regular shampoo.

Remove Conditioner Buildup Recipe
Baking soda removes conditioner build-up from your hair. Rub in and rinse thoroughly, then shampoo with your regular shampoo.

Hair Conditioner Two Recipe
Mayonnaise is a great conditioner for dry hair.
Depending on the length of your hair, apply approximately 1/2 cup of mayonnaise to your dry hair. Work into hair really well and then cover your hair with a plastic bag, allowing to set for about 15 minutes. Rinse thoroughly and then shampoo as usual.

Avocado Facial Recipe
Avocado is a naturally rich moisturizer. Mash the meat of the avocado into a creamy texture. Massage into the face and neck . Leave on for 15 minutes and gently rinse off.

Facial Mask Recipe
Squeeze half a lemon and mix the juice with one beaten egg white. Leave on your face overnight or, for a quick pick-me-up, just 15 minutes. Splash warm water on your face to rinse.

It helps to removes blotches, because the lemon works as a bleaching agent.

Lighten Circles under Eyes Recipe
To lighten dark circles under your eyes, wrap a grated raw potato in cheesecloth and apply to eyelids for 15-20 minutes. Wipe off residue and apply an eye cream.

Egg & Honey Mask Recipe
Mix together 1 tablespoon honey, 1 egg yolk, 1/2 teaspoon almond oil and 1 tablespoon yogurt. Honey stimulates and smoothes, egg and almond oil penetrate and moisturize, and yogurt refines and tightens pores.

Egg, Avocado & Mud Facial Mask Recipe
(best for oilier skin types)
Clay is available in powder form at any health food store. Mix 1 tablespoon dry clay with 1 egg yolk, 1/4 of a mashed avocado and enough witch hazel to create a smooth mixture. Mud dries excess sebum while the egg yolk and avocado replenish lost moisture. Witch hazel tones.

Egg & Olive Oil Hair Mask Recipe
Mix two whole eggs with four tablespoons of olive oil. Smooth through hair. Wrap head with plastic wrap, and leave in hair for 10 minutes. Rinse well.

Fruit Smoothie Hair Mask Recipe
Blend 1/2 a banana, 1/4 avocado, 1/4 cantaloupe, 1 tablespoon wheat germ oil and 1 tablespoon yogurt. For extra conditioning, squeeze in the contents of a vitamin E capsule. Leave in hair for 15 minutes.

Facial Exfoliater Recipe
2 heaped tsp fine oatmeal
1 tsp. baking soda

Combine ingredients, and add enough water to make a paste. Apply to skin and rub gently. Rinse and gently pat dry.

Banana Wrinkle Fighter Recipe
Banana is wonderful as an anti-wrinkle treatment. Mash 1/4 banana until very creamy. Spread all over face and leave for 15-20 minutes before rinsing off with warm water followed by a dash of cold. Gently pat dry.

Grape Cleanser Recipe
Grape juice makes an excellent cleanser for any skin type. Simply split one or two large grapes, remove pips and rub the flesh over face and neck. Rinse off with cool water.

Oily Skin Mask Recipe
Mix 1 tsp. brewers yeast with enough natural yogurt to make a thin mixture. Pat this thoroughly into all the oily areas and allow it to dry on the skin. After 15 - 20 minutes, rinse off with warm water, then cool water and blot dry.

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Get the looks you ever desired

Dressing up for an evening out is not hard. Irresistible party clothes complemented by simple make-up and hassle free hair is all you need to create an evening look. Bharat advises you to wear make-up that looks simple, feminine and, most importantly, realistic.

Make a fresh start : Wash your face either by using a face wash or with clean water. Dab the face with tissue paper. Cover your face with a little moisturiser and wait for it to dry. Apply a concealer to hide spots and dark circles. Dot thin coats of concealer in the inner circle under the eye, around the lips and other dark skin area. The concealer should be one or two coats lighter than the foundation, otherwise the face will look heavy. And make sure you apply it only where needed.


Choose a foundation to match your skin tone. Using the right foundation makes your skin look flawless and smooth. To achieve perfect precision one must blend well. Use an oil-free foundation, starting at the centre of your face, blend it carefully with a slightly damp sponge all over the face, especially the chin, around the nostrils and under the jaw-line. Foundation blended well on the jaw-line avoids demarcation lines. Set it with translucent or compact powder for a matte and refined finish.

Eyeshadows accentuate eyes, making them look bigger and brighter. Use an eyeshadow that compliments the colour of your eyes. Apply eyeshadow right over the eyelid. Draw a thin line of eyeliner on your upper lid, close to the lashes. Use a soft tipped eye pencil over the line for a smudgy effect. Apply mascara in an upward and outward manner. To make your lashes look thicker, powder them before the first layer of mascara is dry. Then apply the second coat. For defined lashes use lash comb and curler.

Even the prettiest of make-up looks unfinished without blusher. It adds life and glow to every skin colour. Use powder blush or tinting powder. Dust the blusher right on the apple of your checks with a large brush patches, so blend it outwards with a big brush in semi-circular motions. Do not go close to the nose.

Now on to your lips To give your lips a luscious look first draw the outline of your lips with a lip pencil. Line them with a neutral colour. Blend inward to prevent the lipstick from bleeding. Use a lip brush to apply the lipstick. Powder your lips after the first coat to prevent it from fading. Apply a second coat of lipstick. And finally use lip gloss on the centre of your lower lip to give that sexy pout look.

Hair always complete the make up first and then do the hairstyle. Your hair should have texture and shine without stiffness for an easy and sexy style. Avoid using hair spray. If you have long and straight hair it is best to leave them open. Wash your hair with a shampoo first and then use a good conditioner. Keep it for ten minutes and then wash it with cold water. Avoid back combing for long hair. When dry, brush it well in an outward direction using a soft brush.

We can try different hairstyles if you have short or midlength hair. If you have curly it to create an instant style. Do not wash your hair on the same day if you want to style them. For a sleeker looks, toss your hair completely back and make a neat low bun or tie a top knot.

To create side strings take a few hair from each side, wet them and pin up. After ten minutes carefully remove the pin and let the strings loose. To make it last longer use little hairspray. Ass volume to your hair by using diffuders and drying systems that include dryers and rollers. Hair ornaments and accessories could be included to create a different look. Pamper yourself with them and make a pretty statement.

Article By Ramandeep Sandhu

Renew your look

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Sooner or later we take the time to reflect on ourselves. Both internally and externally. It's a nice change of pace, to then reflect on the 'renewal' of our look.

So often our image is dependent on our everyday routine and what we've come to do on a daily basis. With hectic schedules, and responsibilities pulling at us from every end, when do we take the time to renew ourselves? We usually don't because the last time we did, we ended up with disastrous results, or it got too frustrating to incorporate this new process into our daily routine.

Are you bored with how you look?
Congratulations! It only means that you've perfected this look, time and time again. So much so, you could do it in your sleep. And believe me, you're really good at it too. You're so good, that by now, face it. You're bored.

It is not so much hard to apply that new color, but to get up the courage to do so. Why is changing how we look so difficult? Models do it all the time. Maybe if I was making $10,000 per day, I'd be happy to change my hair color and makeup in a blink of an eye as well. But I'm not, and I don't. Courage. That's all it takes to conquer something new. A lot harder than it sounds. When makeup artists are pressuring you to overhaul a whole new look for yourself, ask them when they've done the same to themselves? You'll get either a blank stare, or a look of horror. And as a makeup artist, I have to do my own face every day. Day in and day out. I get bored too, and supposedly,I know what I'm doing.

Don't fear. We tend to overwhelm ourselves with trying to put on a whole new face, and frustrated, we end up going back to our tried and true colors and routine anyway.

So what happened? How do we not make this attempt a repeated thing? Simple. Take it slow. Renewal starts with one step. At a time. One new item, or one new color, or one new technique.

So take a deep breath. Relax,and remember. "Baby steps."

A whole renewed you!
First, look at all the colors that you tend to wear over and over again. Not the dusty drawer of stuff that's used once and never again. No, the colors you always tend to grab. Look at them. There's a reason why they work. You wear them everyday,cause you like how they make you look. You feel good. You've gotten compliments. It works. Every time. What's the thing they have in common? Color? Quality? Performance? Make a mental list and then go 1 step beyond. Go for a color deeper or lighter than what you see before you. Whew. Step 1 completed. Wasn't that easy?

Okay, next. What's the texture you wear the most? Is it Matte? Shiny? Dewy? Shimmering? Iridescent? Glittery? Now, go the next step. Go from matte to dewy, or shimmery to glittery. Push the envelope a little bit. Just a little bit.

Last but not least, look at where you put the 'focus' of your look. Do you play up the eyes? The lips? Blush? Okay, soften that area, and focus on the other one. Is it eyes? Then play up lips this time. Or vice versa. Shift the focus a little bit.

Three simple things. And the best part is that you don't have to do them all together. What makes us reject something is that it's far beyond what we feel is the norm. And that goes with makeup too. We immediately don't like that dark burgundy black lipstick, when we're used to the pale nude brown. So we quit. It's only because it's so far beyond our 'comfort' look that we reject it every time. So don't go that route. Back up a bit. Take it easy on yourself. Just one new thing. See how it makes you feel. Hear what others say. And you'll be surprised that you really do have a whole new look. No, really. You just didn't think it'd be this easy.

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